The Etiquette of Acknowledgment Cards

No longer are personal letters expected in return for expressions of sympathy . . . in most cases a signed Acknowledgment Card is sufficient to say "Thanks" for flowers, Mass cards, sympathy cards and personal services. Computer "e-mails" are not appropriate when expressing your gratitude.

Acknowledgments are usually sent between ten days and two weeks following the funeral.

If a more personal touch is desired a few words can be written on the Acknowledgment Card with reference to flowers, letters of condolence or to the services that were rendered. These words make the recipient feel that one's thanks are as personal as if they had been expressed verbally.

We hope the following suggestions will prove helpful in handling the various expressions of sympathy the family receives during bereavement.

The notes printed below in italics are only suggested copy. They may be changed to fit your situation.

To Clergy: Send a personal note thanking them for their spiritual help. If an honorarium or offering is sent it should be sent separately from the note to the clergyman.

* Dear Mr. Smith:

My husband and I thank you for the consolation you gave us during this trying time. The beauty of the services you conducted will help us tremendously.

Dear Father Quinn:

Thank you for the consolation you gave us and for your continuing prayers.

Or: Dear Father Smith or Dear Dr. Smith. But NOT Dear Reverend or Dear Rev. Smith.

To Bearers: (Including honorary but not professional) Include a message of thanks for their time and services on an Acknowledgment Card.

Thank you for your kindness in acting as a Bearer for Father. We asked you because you were one of his closest friends.

Letters: Replies may be short and written on an Acknowledgement Card.

Thank you for your kind words of sympathy. . . it is so nice to have friends like you.

Flowers: A personal message may be written on the Acknowledgment Card.

The roses you sent for Dad were beautiful.

Flowers Received From An Organization: Send an Acknowledgment Card to the leader of the group and include in the message a reference to the other members.

The flowers sent by the members of the Hospital Board were beautiful and greatly appreciated.

If the members have their names on the floral card, an Acknowledgment Card (without a personal message) is sent to each name on the card.

Flowers Received From An Informal Group: When a group of neighbors, employees, etc., send flowers an Acknowledgment Card to each name on the card is sufficient.

Sympathy Cards: The Acknowledgment Card is sufficient . . . If there is a personal message on the card and you feel it should have a reply you can answer it on the Acknowledgment Card.

Friends Who Volunteer Cars And Services: a personal note on an Acknowledgment Card is correct.

Car: Thank you, Bob, for the use of your car. It was needed and greatly
appreciated.

Service: You were so kind to stay with Mother after the funereal and helping her through that first evening alone.

Food: The apple pie you sent to the house was delicious; thanks again for your thoughtfulness.